Learning to Lie

It is now May, and as disheartening as it is I am still out of work. I've been asked to really scrutenize my resume and ask what can be done to make it stand out more. I've been asked to ask myself what is it that makes others' resumes catch the attention of recruiters. I think I've found the answer.... I'm not a good liar.

Let's be honest for a moment (ha ha! See, here I go again with the honesty thing). 95% of what goes on a resume is pure bull in my opinion. Potential employees are expected to display what they've accomplished and how it can benefit the new company. Does anyone know an ordinary Joe who really "exceeded the company's expectations and helped bring in 100 new clients"? How about the person who "delivered extraordinary customer service by magically solving the problems of 50 irrate customers in one setting which resulted in an increase of customers the following year"? Yeah right! The highlight of most peoples' days are photocopying the weekly meeting notes and answering never-ending questions in emails. I hate when asked what I accomplished. An honest answer is that I was there on time regularly, rarely missing a day's work, I did my job, got along with my co-workers, didn't draw attention to myself or raise issues, and went home about my business. I never kissed butt to be something amazing. I'd like to be recognized for being hard-working and dependable, not being the suck-up.

Perhaps I was raised to be more modest than necessary. I really frown upon thinking so highly of oneself. In the corporate world, I suppose that's what is wanted though. It's such a fine line between confidence and conceit.